This call is about recognizing competing intentions and forgiveness. Today’s caller, Michelle, is facing challenges when calling in a partner, her person, someone to share her life with. A childhood wound regarding trust keeps repeating because she has not healed it yet. Even if you are not single, this call has something in it for you. We work through blocks when it comes to trusting people, and competing intentions.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode272]

When we have competing intentions, we have a longing and a desire. Yet, we also have protective strategies of “I may get hurt.” It is the intention that is keeping you protected that will win. This is why we feel like we are sabotaging ourselves. We keep repeating the same pattern over and over again.

The angrier we are, the better we are at protecting ourselves. The more we keep the wall up. Remember, when we forgive, it’s not about condoning actions or forgiving the actions that hurt us. It is about forgiving the misunderstandings and misperceptions and misbeliefs we bought into, based on what happened.

The power of your desire, the power of what you want IS powerful. Don't think it cannot bring you what you want. You have to look at what is blocking it. One of the best ways we can protect ourselves from future hurts is to heal our past hurts.

In December, I am offering the next round of personal development grant money. The grant money can be used for mental or emotional therapy, coaching, or anything that enhances your emotional wellbeing. To sign up to receive $500 go to ChristineHassler.com/grant.

If you are a single lady who wants to be in a relationship, to share your life with someone, and want to call in your match, your person, sign up for the upcoming Be the Queen program. It includes live sessions and one-on-one support. Go to christinehassler.com/BetheQueen and read the testimonials. Get early-bird bonuses if you sign up by December 14, 2020.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you have a similar expectation hangover happening repeatedly?
• Are you aware of a childhood wound and know it impacts your life, but you can’t seem to shift it?
• Are you single and want to be with a partner, your person, especially, after this challenging year?
• Do you have trouble trusting people, especially when it comes to the opposite sex?

Michelle’s Question:

Michelle wants to find someone to share her life with, her person.

Michelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• Her brother passed away unexpectedly.
• She is the youngest of five children from a big family.
• She’s never been married but wants to find someone to share life with.
• She has a broken heart about her family breaking up.
• Her father left her mother for another woman.
• She believes she can’t trust people and attracts men she can’t trust.
• She has put up a wall around her heart.
• She may have low self-worth and a rough inner critic.
• She has been in therapy.
• She has competing intentions.
• She is angry and feels she needs to protect herself.
• Her feminine desire is being blocked by masculine anger.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Find a way to protect herself in a healthy way.
• Speak with her younger self about releasing her anger.
• Realize she doesn’t have to trust every person, just one who is worthy.
• Forgive herself for what she made her father’s actions mean.
• Reparent herself by acknowledging her father isn’t representative of all men.
• Start trusting herself.
• Believe she can have a healthy, happy relationship.

Takeaways:

• Consider what your competing intentions are. Is there something you want in your life but what is the protective block you have that is keeping you from getting it?
• Get to the source of your issue.
• Remember, with forgiveness, you are not forgiving the actions, you are forgiving the misunderstandings and limiting beliefs you bought into, based on the action.
• If today's episode resonated with you, re-listen to it. If you want to apply to the Be the Queen program in January, go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This call is about restoration and compassion. Today’s caller, Yaira, keeps going, going, going until she burns herself out. She is committed to believing that it is just who she is but the crux of this call is when she says she was trying to escape her circumstances. If you relate to being uncomfortable in stillness you will find this call useful.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode271]

For any of you who have grown up in a chaotic home, it is common for you to want to go, go, go because stillness brought up feelings of how long is it going to be before the other shoe drops? Stillness can feel traumatic because you are bracing yourself for something bad to come. If you relate to feeling like this, you have to reorient your body, your inner child, and your subconscious mind to stillness. Reinforce the idea that just because you are still it doesn't mean you are trapped or in danger.

If you feel you have already done a lot of personal development work, know that you are not done. You are never done. Just accept it. The hard work is at the beginning. What phase are you in on your personal growth journey? 

There are some of you who are very aware and who have lived in a “house” that has been constructed for a while and continue doing maintenance. But, others of you are still in the personal development building stage where there is a lot of work yet to do. It’s OK. Please don’t discredit the work you have done just because you have more work to do. Don’t minimize what you have done because there is something else you discovered that needs healing.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you passionate and committed to things, but sometimes you burn yourself out and don’t know how to stop?
• Do you trust yourself?
• Do you have issues with not pacing yourself?
• Do you ever feel like you are out of control? You want to do a lot of things but feel like you have no stop button?
• Is there something in your life, your past perhaps, you are trying to escape from?

Yaira's Question:

Yaira wants to push projects forward but experiences burn out and would like guidance on how to break her “negative” habits.

Yaira's Key Insights and Ahas:

• She gets excited about starting new projects.
• She experiences burnout when she pushes herself too hard.
• She feels safe and grounded in some aspects but fearful in others.
• She can be overindulgent.
• She does not trust herself to set limitations or boundaries.
• She does not have strong family bonds.
• She grew up in a chaotic household and had to figure things out by herself.
• She has not realized how much her past has impacted her.
• She has done a lot of personal development work.
• She wants to be in full control of her life.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Find a way to work with her energy in a way that conserves her energy.
• Tell her younger self that she is free and has dominion over her life.
• Call forward her inner parent.
• Do a body scan or yoga practice to restore her body.
• Speak to herself with compassion.

Takeaways:

• If you are passionate, make sure to balance yourself out by being compassionate. Passion is fire energy, and it will burn you out if you do not balance it out.
• Find the voice of your inner parents and explain things to yourself.
• Find your “pull” motivation. Consider how much of what you are doing is motivated by “push or away from” energy versus the “toward energy” that pulls you toward your vision.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This call is about bringing more harmony into your life. Today’s caller, Brian, loves his work but is searching for more work-life balance. He enjoys being the person who is always available to others but takes little time for himself. This episode is enlightening for those who get validation from being the reliable, go-to person.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode270]

There is no such thing as work-life balance. They are not two separate things. Work is part of life. It’s about putting more harmony in your life by doing things to balance out the huge time suckers. If you work a lot or are with your kids a lot, what are you doing to balance it out? Have you created boundaries to make time for yourself? Do you have a self-care practice? Is it your once-a-week therapy session? What things are you doing to balance out the things in your life that are time-consuming?

The ego generally gets a bad wrap in the personal development space. But, we all have an ego. We all need to feel like we matter. Every human needs to feel important. The ego is how we get validation. We just need to be careful that validation doesn’t become linked to our identity.

Every pattern we are involved in has costs and payoffs. Does the imbalance in your life cost you more than it pays out?

This is an intense time so be mindful of what you allow into your mind. Choose what you want your individual experience to be. In November, I am launching the next round of personal development grant money. The grant money can be used for therapy, coaching, or anything that enhances your emotional wellbeing. To sign up to receive $500 go to ChristineHassler.com/grant.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you feel like you need more work-life balance?
• Do you often feel like you can’t get away from your responsibilities? Do you believe that if you set boundaries or are not available or responsible all the time, things will fall apart?
• Do you relate to being the go-to person?
• Do you get validation for being the go-to-person? Does it make you feel needed?

Brian’s Question:

Brian would like guidance on how to bring more work-life balance into his world.

Brian’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• He works a lot of hours.
• He loves his job and likes to make things work.
• He enjoys being a reliable person.
• He feels pressured to always be available.
• He values being a good resource at work.
• He would like to move toward being a leader.
• His life is mostly about other people.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Expand his purpose with self-reflection.
• Pay attention to his self-talk.
• Be kind and gentle with himself.
• Create a schedule of when he is available.
• Adopt a five-minute morning meditation or breathwork practice.

Takeaways:

• Think about what you are doing; does it give you a sense of identity and purpose? What is it costing you?
• Is it time to evolve out of being the people pleaser or the go-to person?
• Think about the boundaries you need to put in place to break some patterns.
• What are the simple, non-time-consuming things you can set up that weigh a lot and will make a big difference?

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Samantha Skelly is a 7-figure entrepreneur, sought after international speaker, best-selling author, and wellness coaching expert. She founded both Hungry for Happiness, a movement that helps people experience true transformation and happiness through trained certified coaches who utilize emotional and energetic coaching techniques, and PAUSE Breathwork, which has a mission to unite humanity by helping people breathe, feel, and thrive. Samantha has revolutionized the weight loss and self-help industries by examining the individual and underlying causes of food, body, and self-love issues. You can check her out on  the popular Hungry for Happiness podcast and her best-selling HayHouse book, Hungry For Happiness which you can learn more about here: https://www.hungryforhappiness.com/hungry-for-happiness-book/

This call is about moving past programmed beliefs to uncover your authentic beliefs. Today’s caller, Meagan, is feeling unfulfilled and directionless. After her father’s passing, she had to take on a lot of responsibility quickly but did not receive support from her family. What we discover is that she has competing intentions or programmed beliefs that are bumping up against her authentic beliefs.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode269]

Life during our late 20s and early 30s can be difficult because it is at a time in life when it’s a weird combination of trying to figure out our future while also trying to clean up our past. We don’t want to repeat our past but it’s hard to get clarity on the future when we have not cleaned up our past first.

Often, our programmed beliefs and conditioning bump up against who we authentically are and it creates conflict.

Whenever we are doing clearing work or processing work of our past, at the same time we must reprogram our brain with the beliefs we want to believe, or the beliefs that we authentically believe. Sometimes we just need a little reminder of what those are.

And, as we start to clear things out we want to make sure we put new programs in, otherwise, the brain tends to hang on to the old stuff.

Secure your spot for the next live group coaching call about sex, intimacy, love, and relationships. The live call starts at 5 pm PST on 11/11/20. Go to ChristineHassler.com.group for more information or to access the library of past and future group calls. Become part of my community for only $20.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you ever feel like you are not on the “right path” or don’t have the direction in your life that you want?
• Do you feel like you “should” have a more secure career path?
• Growing up, did you feel free to express yourself creatively, and emotionally?
• Have you ever experienced a loss you have yet to fully grieve?

Meagan’s Question:

Meagan would like guidance on finding direction and fulfillment in her life.

Meagan’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She feels she lacks direction.
• She was jolted into adulthood much sooner than she expected after her father’s passing.
• She has not fully grieved her father.
• She felt a lack of support in her family.
• She tried to be perfect to get love from her parents.
• She never felt fully expressed.
• She would like to be a Human Design Reader.
• She recently spoke with a counselor about her grief.
• She wants to move and create a community for herself.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Invest in her wellness.
• Surround herself with people who have an explorer spirit.
• Confirm her authentic beliefs through books, podcasts, or other personal development media.
• Break the pattern of overthinking everything.
• Express herself creatively and emotionally.

Takeaways:

• Reflect on what are your programmed beliefs and your authentic beliefs.
• If you live in your head a lot, give your emotions an exit route by releasing them.
• Consider looking into Human Design. Listen to my podcast with Erin Claire Jones.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Coaches Corner #241 with Erin Claire Jones on Human Design