30: The Fear of Being Alone: How to Get Over It!

There is a difference between being alone and feeling the pain of loneliness. We do not have to suffer from the pain of loneliness if we are enjoying a connected relationship with our self and a higher power. We are never really alone, and the illusion of the separation of God, higher power source or universe, is one of the core misunderstandings we are all here to overcome. If we tell ourselves things like “I’m alone, I hate being by myself, something must be wrong with me, I really need to be with other people”, then, of course we feel the pain of loneliness. It’s very human to want to be connected and to make sure we are getting our soul food by spending time with people we love. Feeling isolated or disconnected is incredibly hard. But sometimes it is the pain of loneliness that inspires us to do the work to nurture a better relationship with our self, or to create or deepen a spiritual connection.    This is exactly what is on the soul agenda for today’s caller, Christina. Her question initially is about the assumptions she’s making that are sabotaging her relationship, but her core issue is fear of being alone. She has a track record of being in toxic relationships or relationships she truly doesn’t want to be in just because it was better than being on her own. Remember you are never truly alone. You are always connected to infinite and unconditional love from God. I invite all of you to join me September 16-22 for my retreat in magical Bali which  will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. E-mail [e-mail] for information on how to join the festivities or to join me in Los Angeles in July for my signature retreat.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Is your fear of being alone so considerable that you jump from relationship to relationship? ● Do you hesitate to do things alone? ● Are you terrified you will end up old and alone? ● Do you only feel safe when you are with another person? ● Are you longing for a deeper connection to yourself and a higher power so you do not have to experience the pain of loneliness or separation?   Christina’s Question: Christina feels she is sabotaging her relationship by assuming this partner will do the same things as her previous partner.   Christina’s Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She panics when she thinks of being alone ● She is trying to learn how to be in a relationship with herself ● She grew up with a fear of losing the people she loved ● She settles in relationships to keep herself from being alone   How to get over it and on with it: ● Redefine what being alone is ● Create a feeling of safety without having someone else there ● Have honest communication with her partner about taking a break ● Bring a spiritual practice into her life ● Apply her own calming tactics into her own life   Tools and Takeaways: ● Understand your default pattern when you feel lonely. What can you tell yourself instead of going into your default pattern?  ● Think of someone you speak highly of and then talk about yourself the same way. You deserve to be the recipient of loving, self-talk. ● Cultivate a spiritual practice. ● Make connections with soul friends and your soul family.   Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (including my favorite Alpha Brain).   Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram [e-mail] [e-mail]