EP 366: They Said — Part 3 of a 3-part Couples Coaching Series with Rory & Tyler

This episode is a couple’s coaching session with the partners currently experiencing struggles in their relationship. Rory & Tyler have listened to their partner’s individual sessions and spoken with each other about what they heard. Christine discusses strategies and opportunities the couple can use to move their relationship forward.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode366]

 

Relationships are challenging. It is generally easy in the first year when there is infatuation and hormones but afterward comes the depth, transformation, and healing. In any relationship, struggles and doubts are normal and natural. It is important to uncover where the doubt is coming from. Does it come from red flags or deep intuition?

 

There is a difference between a relationship that has potential versus a relationship that has the key ingredients to go the difference. Love isn’t always enough for a relationship to go the distance and to be healthy. However, love plus a commitment to do the work independently and together can be the game-changer in a relationship.

 

Making loving requests is a great way to not build resentment in relationships. Requests from a loving place are much different than demands from a defensive or pissed-off place. People who come from a defensive or pissed-off place have difficulty getting their needs met.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• When you hear your partner give feedback about you, can you hear it or do you get triggered immediately?
• Are you playing out little boy or girl behavior in your relationship that is a turn-off for your partner? Are you respecting and tending to the little boy or girl inside your partner?
• Are you willing to go the distance in your partnership by doing the work? Is your partner willing? Are you willing to be in a relationship where your partner isn’t doing the work?
• Can you make powerful, loving requests of your partner to get your needs met?

 

Rory & Tyler’s Question:

After their separate coaching sessions, Rory & Tyler come together to work through their issues and discuss ways to move their relationship forward.

 

Rory & Tyler’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• Tyler wants to hold space for Rory to really see her.
• Rory wants to be her whole self and allow Tyler to be his whole self in the relationship.
• They both would like unclouded, infinite, real love.
• Tyler would like words of confirmation from Rory.
• Tyler finds it hard to release anger.
• Tyler feels triggered when Rory acts a certain way.
• Tyler needs to be inspired romantically.
• Rory loves Tyler for his support.
• Tyler loves Rory for her joviality.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Tyler, do emotional release work.
• Rory, explore her sensuality and sexuality.
• Get specific with each other about what they want.
• Work with a therapist together and separately.
• Tyler, when he is triggered to remind himself that Rory is not his mother.
• Use a simple codeword to help their partner recognize their triggers.
• Rory, inspire Tyler romantically.

 

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

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Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

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