This coaching call is about giving ourselves the love we deserve. Today’s caller, Nicole, is struggling to give the love and acceptance she gives to her child, to herself. She feels something is missing in her life because she didn’t receive love from her parents. Christine offers guidance on how she can change her story and start loving herself.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode446].
Is it possible to give ourselves unconditional love 100% of the time? Is it possible to be loving to ourselves most of the time and catch ourselves when we are not?
When we don't get the love we want, or need from our parents we can flip into the victim archetype easily. It is the subconscious way we try to get love for ourselves.
The challenge with loving ourselves the way we love other people is so pervasive. There is an epidemic of people who don't feel that they are enough in some way. Whether the feeling came from inside our childhood home or outside of it, it reinforced that limiting belief.
Love is our essence. It's naturally who we all are. But we move out of love and more into fear and judgment as we age. A practice we can do to be unconditionally loving to ourselves is to keep trying and keep showing up for ourselves. When we notice that we're not being loving to ourselves, when we're in judgment, fear, criticism, or shame, we can acknowledge it and bring ourselves back to love.
Press your hand on your heart and say “I am loved.” Press your hand on your belly and say “I am safe.“
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Consider/Ask Yourself:
Did you feel unconditionally loved as a child, and if you didn't, are you sad and angry about it?
Did you find it hard to give yourself the love you so easily give others, especially a child or a partner?
Do you struggle with being kind to yourself?
Do you wish that you could have had the childhood that other children have or that your children have?
Nicole’s Question:
Nicole is struggling to give the love and acceptance she gives to her child, to herself.
Nicole’s Key Insights and Ahas:
Her son is autistic.
She gives her son an abundance of love and affection.
She believes her son chose her.
She feels sad.
She was not given unconditional love as a child.
She feels anger toward her parents for the love she didn’t get.
She feels there is a big missing piece in her life.
She has worked hard to not be a people pleaser and not to seek validation from others.
She shares her mother’s love for nature with her son.
She wants to nurture a spiritual relationship with her parents.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Grieve and release feelings of rage or sadness.
Embrace the love she is getting.
Take the opportunity to parent herself as she parents her child.
Feel gratitude in place of sadness.
Step out of victim and into integration and application.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
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