Over It And On With It

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

CC: Astral Hustle with Cory Allen 0

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Aug 8, 2020

Cory Allen is an author, podcast host, meditation teacher, and audio engineer. He is passionate about how to live better using principles of mindfulness, neuroscience, and philosophy.

We discuss Cory’s journey to meditation and how it is an effective tool for adding coherence, awareness, and compassion to life.

You can learn more from Cory through his book, Now is the Way, and his online meditation course called Release Into Now. He is excellent at teaching people how to meditate with clear and concise methods.

Connect with Cory here: http://www.cory-allen.com/

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EP 256: How to Release Stuck Feelings with Luanna 0

Aug 5, 2020

This call is about how to move feelings, especially if those feelings get stuck as energy in your body. Today’s caller, Luanna, is having difficulty expressing her feelings and vulnerability. This episode demonstrates what it looks like when you actualize recommendations or therapies perfectly but the tension and tightness in your body don’t shift.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode256]

We all give our parents too much power. We make what they said and what they did matter way too much. Remember, our parents are humans, and more importantly, they are wounded inner children who probably didn’t get the parenting they needed. So, if you’re holding on to something your parents did, said, or just their voices in your head, I encourage you to get it out and find your own inner parent.

Anger is not useful when it is in our heads because there is no release for it. If it is hard for you to get angry and use or write angry words, you may be resistant to doing it because you feel like you are betraying the person. If this feels true for you, start by moving energy through sound, movement, and breathwork.

This is a trying time emotionally, mentally, and financially so in August, I am giving away $5,000 in personal development grant money. Ten people will receive $500 to invest in themselves. Go to ChristineHassler.com/grant to fill out the application. I will announce the grant recipients on an Instagram Live.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you ever feel like your feelings get stuck or maybe you do, with tension in your belly, tightness in your chest, and no matter what you do just can’t seem to move it?
Did you grow up thinking or being told that vulnerability was weak, that you had to be strong and you felt like your emotions couldn’t be expressed?
Do you get in your head a lot? Can you psychoanalyze yourself but when it comes to feeling your feelings you get a little lost?
Are you someone that can endure a lot but when it comes to letting it go, it isn’t easy?

Luanna’s Question:

Luanna struggles to express her vulnerability. She would like guidance on how to release her emotions and live free of her mother’s control.

Luanna’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She feels her energy is stuck in her belly.
She is starting a business.
She hears her mother’s voice telling her she is not capable of attaining her dreams.
As a child, she wanted her mother to let her express her feelings.
She adopts her mother’s limiting beliefs as her own.
She isn’t going after what she wants because she doesn’t want to hurt her family.
It is hard for her to feel anger.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Give herself permission to be angry and feel her feelings.
Stop giving her mother power over her life.
Practice release writing, dancing, or physical exertion to release the energy.
Find a therapist who practices Somatic Therapy.
Make a guttural sound with deep breaths to release her anger and sadness.
Create a safe space for healing.

Takeaways:

Empower yourself. Stop giving something your parents said or did more energy than it deserves.
If you have a hard time getting angry because it feels like a betrayal, use movement or sound or do letter writing instead.
If feelings feel stuck, try a somatic, body-based approach.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

CC: Be More With Less with Courtney Carver 0

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Aug 1, 2020

If you’ve been searching for a place to help you simplify your life, declutter your mind, and connect with your heart then you are going to love this conversation. Courtney Carver joins Christine to talk about minimalism. She created Be More with Less and minimalist fashion challenge Project 333 after spending much of her adult life tired, stressed, sick and doing work she didn’t care about to make ends meet. After years of decluttering and letting go, she realized that happiness isn’t waiting for us, it’s within us.

Learn more here: https://bemorewithless.com/

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EP 255: Healing Anger with Sean 0

Jul 29, 2020

This call is a deep dive into what causes anger and what lies beneath the surface of anger. As a child, today’s caller, Sean, experienced emotional abuse from his parents. He would like to move past managing his anger and start healing it. Oftentimes, men put on a mask and reject the scared little boy who experienced wounding. And in many ways, little boys are more sensitive and tender than little girls but they are told to hide their feelings.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode255]

Men deal with anger in aggressive or passive ways. If anger isn’t dealt with in a healthy way, men either become aggressive and have outbursts such as yelling and throwing things, putting those they love through emotional turmoil. Or, they are super-passive and withdraw. They allow other people, especially women to push them around and emasculate them. Passive anger gets turned inward because they become incredibly self-critical. Anger left unprocessed or anger left unhealed creates incredible self-criticism. We are hard on ourselves when we have unprocessed anger.

When we communicate from a wounded place we can be lethal. People can’t hear us because they have to defend themselves.

A lot of times when we attempt to avoid sadness, we laugh. We default to humor because our pain is so big that it is hard to feel it. I encourage people to go into the pain on a regular basis and own the anger to break out of the cycle.

When we tap into anger it can feel scary. It is important to have someone who can hold a safe space for us.

On the last weekend of August, we are offering another Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. The early bird discount of $100 off is available until July 31st. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. If you can’t attend the workshop in its entirety you will have access to it for 30-days.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

How is your temper? Do you tend to hold things inside and then, once you reach your breaking point, you snap?
Do you often react in an angry or impatient way and you feel scared or hurt people in your life?
As a child, did you truly feel like someone held space for your emotions?
Are there people in your life, perhaps even your parents, that you cannot forgive, even though intellectually, you know you should?

Sean’s Question:

Sean has a sizable amount of anger and would like guidance on how to release it.

Sean’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He is married with children.
He’s grown tired of causing chaos in his home.
There was mental and emotional abuse in his childhood home.
He had an eating disorder.
He judges himself for being angry.
He has tried to express his feelings.
He has done personal and grief work.
He gets triggered when he feels criticized.
His current family dynamic reminds him of his childhood.
He uses humor as a coping mechanism.
He judges his parents.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Acknowledge that it is healthy to have anger.
Find a healthy physical release for the anger.
Be mindful of using humor as a deflection.
Connect with his inner child when he is triggered to anger.
Release his feelings with writing.
Stop blaming his parents and own his feelings.
Give himself unconditional love and acceptance.
Discontinue managing his wounds and start healing them.

Takeaways:

Look at your relationship with anger. Do you relate to being the more outburst aggressive or are you more passive and internalize it?
Create a space for you to do the temper tantrum technique. Go to ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease for a free download.
Join us in August for the Inner Child Workshop.
Own those parts of yourself you may not like so much. If you continue to shame, judge, and blame them, they are not going to heal.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

CC: Pursue Your Passions Without Sacrificing Self-Care with Charlene Izene 0

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Jul 25, 2020

Charlene Izere is a multi-passionate entrepreneur. She is the founder of 3 brands: Melanin & Money, Wellness Delivered, and Soulful Systems. Through her platforms, she empowers women to live life on their own terms through systems, self-care, and entrepreneurship.

As a Black woman, carving out her empire out here in these entrepreneurial streets, she knows first hand how disheartening it can be to feel underrepresented, longing for community, and support by women who get it. Her mission? To put money and opportunity in the hands of Black women.

When Charlene isn’t strategizing with her clients or hosting an event, she enjoys playing video games, collaging, and self-caring.

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EP 254: Stop Feeling Like You Are Always Getting it Wrong with Tanya 0

Jul 22, 2020

This call is about reconnecting with an inner child. Today’s caller, Tanya, grew up in an unstable environment and, as a result, second-guesses the choices she makes. She invites people into her life in an effort to get the love she never received as a child but the relationships play out much like her childhood, chaotic and uncertain. We discuss the ways she can reconnect with herself through vulnerability and gratitude.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode254]

When you are dating, making friends, or when you are just out in the world, you want authenticity. You don’t want to go on a date with someone or be in a business meeting with someone who is inauthentic. Who wants that? We can expect authenticity. We want someone to be real and we want them to tell us the truth but we have to earn a person’s vulnerability.

When someone is vulnerable with us it should feel like actual true intimacy, not like we are special or we are getting an inside look. Be mindful of that. Don’t get seduced by faux vulnerability. There is a lot of seductive vulnerability and fake vulnerability in the world. We can expect and should expect authenticity from people but we must earn their vulnerability.

Seductive vulnerability is if you are new in meeting someone or dating someone and they start being super vulnerable, like telling you their deepest darkest secrets and opening up without a lot of trust built between you. It may make you feel special but it is more seductive vulnerability than true vulnerability. True vulnerability comes when you feel safe with another person and you feel seen.

The last weekend of August, we are offering another Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. The early bird discount of $100 off is available until July 31st. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. If you can’t attend the workshop in its entirety you will have access to it for 30-days.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

What happens when you feel out of control? Do you blame others then blame yourself? What do you do to try to get control back?
Do you have a feeling like you’re always doing it wrong, constantly questioning yourself, or constantly feeling like when something goes wrong it’s your fault?
Did you grow up in a home where you had a lot of uncertainty?
How do you feel about intimacy and true vulnerability? Are you vulnerable in your relationships and have true intimacy with others? Or, are there still some patterns that prevent you from true vulnerability and intimacy?
Have you ever been seduced by someone else’s faux vulnerability?

Tanya’s Question:

Tanya questions herself and her choices and is asking for guidance about being vulnerable.

Tanya’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She blames herself and always feels wrong.
There was a lot of uncertainty in her home growing up.
She has done a lot of inner child work.
She has a history of dating the wrong people.
Her mother’s moods controlled her young life.
She evaluates other people as above or below her.
She evaluates herself through a systematic approach.
She constantly tried to figure out how to get her mother’s love.
She put up a wall to protect herself.
She is seeking connection.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Realize she is not wrong.
Learn how to be in a relationship with feelings and vulnerability.
Give up dating for a while and work on being in friendships.
Be mindful of the difference between authentic vulnerability and charm.
Do deep inner child work and reconnect with herself.
Recognize the full-body yeses in her life.

Takeaways:

Join us in August for the Inner Child Workshop.
Look at, especially if you're dating and have relationships, at how you are playing out unresolved wounding with either mom or dad in those relationships.
Research vulnerability. Brené Brown is a great resource for vulnerability.
If you are blaming yourself for something because it’s giving you a false sense of control, be aware of what you are doing and make a list of all the things you are certain of, and then follow that up with a list of all the things you’re grateful for.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

CC: Human Design with Erin Claire Jones 0

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Jul 18, 2020

Want to learn more about how you are individually designed as a human? Then you're going to love this episode with Erin Claire Jones. Erin uses Human Design to help thousands of individuals and companies step into their work and their lives as their truest selves and to their highest potential.

Human Design is a synthesis of ancient wisdom and modern science that sheds light on a person’s energetic makeup, as well as specific tools they can use to live at their happiest, healthiest, highest potential. It doesn’t change who they are; it teaches them who they are. It offers insight into what’s possible, and highlights the significance of understanding and living as the fullest expression of themselves.

Her work as a guide, coach, and speaker has attracted a growing community of over 50,000 people who turn to her teachings for practical tools, digestible tips, and deeper self-knowledge they can access to live with greater ease and authenticity every single day.

To get your Blueprint, a personalized guide to your unique design: erinclairejones.com/blueprint

The code CHRISTINE will get you 10% off your Blueprint.

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EP 253: How To Go All-in On Your Dreams with Trevi 0

Jul 15, 2020

This call is about going all in. Today’s caller, Trevi, is uncomfortable taking risks because she fears she will not live up to her high expectations. I offer her tips about how to remove the obstacles that are getting in the way of her going all-in and stepping fully into her dreams.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode253]

Children need their parents and other people to feel proud of them. It isn’t an ego thing. We all need validation. We need the feeling of pride. And, as children, we needed it from mostly our caretakers but if we didn’t get it, it is imperative that we give it to ourselves.

You will be amazed when your little one inside, or that part of you that feels insecure, feels pride. Hope and possibility will fill you up. If you want to feel inspired, feel proud first. When you give your inner child what you need they will feel satiated and not hold you back.

It’s okay to take risks and it’s okay if you need reinforcement and reassurance before you take the risk. Some of us don’t like risk and a lot of that has to do with our natural tendencies and our childhood. But if we don’t take risks, if we don’t keep trying, then we may never have awesome experiences. Don’t be afraid to try or to be afraid of your future self and your high-expectations.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Did you have something you want such as a career, relationship, or a move but you’re scared to go all-in?
Are you afraid of your high-expectations because you don’t want to fail?
What is your relationship to risk? Do you prefer to play it safe?
Do you feel proud of yourself, not just for your accomplishments but for who you are?

Trevi’s Question:

Trevi would like guidance on how to transform her career from a corporate job to her dream job of being a yoga teacher and coach.

Trevi’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is scared of not being able to meet her expectations.
She is worried about what other people think.
She has high expectations for herself.
She feels disappointed when she doesn’t meet her high standards.
She chased validation from her parents.
She still chases validation from external sources.
She talks herself out of things she wants.
She is proud of herself for who she is.
When she gives her little girl what she needs she feels satiated.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Reparent the part of herself that needs validation.
Reassure the little girl inside of her and feel that she is seen and loved.

Takeaways:

It’s okay to take some risks and it’s okay if you need reinforcement and reassurance before you take the risk.
Feel proud of yourself.
Write down or say out loud to the mirror ten reasons you are proud of yourself.
Join us in August for the Inner Child Workshop.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

CC: Racism Recovery with April Dawn Harter, LCSW 0

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Jul 11, 2020

This is MUST listen episode. I've been wanting to bring on an expert to talk about the psychological and emotional issues surrounding racism as well as give guidance to overcome the guilt, shame, and trauma so many people are experiencing. I am thrilled that I found April Dawn Harter who joins me to break down what actually causes and perpetuates racism and how to heal it. April is a former medical social worker, where she provided counseling to her patients and their family members to help them cope with the trauma of medical emergencies in the state of Texas. She later moved to Colorado and started her private practice to serve QTPOC patients with a history of racial trauma. After having worked with QTPOC, she decided to help prevent racism in society by working with white clients as a coach using the Racist Signature Theory. Finally, she opened up the Racism Recovery Center to provide psychotherapy for the treatment of racism. You can learn more here: https://www.racismrecoverycenter.com/

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EP 252: Why Do I Feel Like I Am Not Making Any Progress? With Anna 0

Jul 8, 2020

This call is about doing deep inner child work. Today’s caller, Anna, is being blocked by a defense mechanism and doesn’t feel she is making progress in her personal development work. We talk about how she can come back to love and remove judgment. It is useful to reach out externally for support, however, we have to be our own internal support as well. The help she needs will come from within.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode252]

When you feel you are backtracking in your personal development, know that what is really happening is that a trigger is exposing a deeper layer so you can go to a deeper level of healing and love.

Our behaviors, coping strategies, and our defense mechanisms are all there to protect us from hurt and confirm our biases. People who have low self-worth and think their value comes from doing will be very critical of themselves and will constantly try to do and create a result.

When our ‘come from’ is “I’m broken,” “I hope this fixes me,” or “something is wrong with me,” it slows down our healing because the energy that our personal development is riding on is judgment rather than love.

As we learn to meet our own needs and tend to the little one inside of us and make the place inside of us that feels not enough, or not worthy, make it known that our needs ARE valuable and worthy. And, as we realize our needs are valuable and worthy, we then unconsciously train other people about how to meet our needs better and we are able to consciously ask people to meet our needs better.

Are you being called to lead, love, or make a difference? Join me and Stefanos for our Love Amplified Live retreat in Austin, Sept 24–27. This retreat is all about the love of self, love of others, and love of your higher power. There will be workshops, breathwork, and partner breakouts. Come, share, and grow. Get more information at ChristineHassler.com/retreat.

The last weekend of August, we are offering a Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. If you can’t attend the workshop in its entirety you will have access to it for 30-days.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you feel like you're backtracking or not making progress in terms of your personal development?
Do you experience great frustration with your life, work, relationships, or where you live?
Growing up, did you feel like your needs were met? Did you feel like your parents understood you, saw you, and knew how to meet your needs?
When it comes to yourself and your path, do you approach it with love, compassion, and acceptance, or with judgment and frustration?

Anna’s Question:

Anna feels that time is passing in her life but she isn’t making any progress; she would like guidance on how to move forward.

Anna’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She feels she is not making progress in life.
She feels other people judge her.
She is unhappy in her work, community, and relationships.
Her parents were emotionally unavailable.
She gets depressed when she is not accomplishing things.
She felt her needs didn’t matter and couldn’t be met.
She has consistently searched externally to get her needs met.
She helped raise a family member.
She feels angry and hurt that her parents weren’t there for her.
She has built a wall around her heart.
She adopted self-criticism as a defense mechanism.
She is not broken.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Realize she is the only one that can meet her needs.
Deeply connect with her little girl and feel her feelings.
Reflect internally without judgment and support and trust herself.

Takeaways:

Look at your ‘come from’ in your personal development. Up your self-compassion and talk to that little one inside.
Join us in August for the Inner Child Workshop.
Think of how you’d be with a child or animal. How would you meet their needs? How would you anticipate their needs? Use this to access how to meet your own needs.
Acknowledge your progress.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

CC: Break Through Money Blocks to Live A Richer Life with Ramit Sethi 0

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Jul 4, 2020

Remit Sethi is the author of the NYT bestseller “I Will Teach You How to Be Rich” and is known as a financial guru to millions. He is an expert on teaching how to break through psychological money blocks so you can live a rich life. In this episode Ramit shares some incredible tips for how to get out of panic around money during this stressful time as well as advice for how to lead a “rich” life (and you get to define what “rich” means to you!).

Learn more about Ramit at: https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/

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EP 251: Have I Outgrown My Relationship? With Sara 0

Jul 1, 2020

This call is about personal growth and the effect it may have on a long-term relationship. Today’s caller, Sara, is working through her past trauma and childhood wounds and making a connection with her inner child. But, her relationship with her husband is not shifting. She is wondering if it is a relationship dynamic that will adjust.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode251]

Even though the person who is doing more growth work and has more consciousness in a relationship has more responsibility, we can never change anyone through our love. However, if we break the issue-based dynamic we are in with someone then it presents an opportunity for them to break free of their patterns and maybe deal with some of their stuff. Our love cannot save anyone, change anyone, or heal anyone. That is a job we have to do ourselves. We are all 100% responsible for changing, healing, and inspiring ourselves.

If we try to get someone to change, we are continuing to involve ourselves in the relational dynamic which perpetuates the unhealthy patterns and childhood wounding. Healing doesn’t come from trying to change another person. It comes from doing your own work within the context of a relationship.

Most of our wounding happens in a relationship and most of our wounding can be healed in a relationship.

If you are in a relationship and would like a couples coaching call on this podcast go to ChristineHassler.com/couples.

At the end of August, we are offering a Virtual Inner Child Workshop. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild. If you can’t tune in for the workshop in its entirety you will have access to it for 30-days.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you still dealing with the pain of a chaotic or traumatic childhood?
Have you been doing a lot of personal growth work and now you’re concerned that you may have outgrown your partner?
Do you feel your relationship has an expiration date?
Do you really want your partner to change and you’re doing everything you can to get him or her to change?

Sara’s Question:

Sara is making significant changes in her life and is looking for more intimacy and connection in her relationship.

Sara’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She has been making personal development breakthroughs.
She is open to change and doing new things.
She is looking for connection and intimacy from her relationship.
Her husband has a different love language.
She needs to feel safe in a relationship.
There has been gaslighting in her childhood and marriage.
She is in an issue-based relationship.
She has an anxious attachment style.
She has an emotional addiction of going into Hopeless/Helpless.
She is in a soul contract.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Couples coaching is helpful.
Take care of little Sara, reassure her, and give herself what she needs.
Love her husband for exactly who he is.
Lead her relationship with love.
Try interrupting rigid patterns with humor and lightness.

Takeaways:

If you are in a partnership where you are growing but you don’t think your partner is, instead of thinking you need to leave, give it your all unless the relationship is toxic.
Talk to the little boy or girl inside of you, ask them what they need, and give it to them.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

CC: Spiritual Shit with Alea Lovely 0

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Jun 27, 2020

You'll love Christine's discussion with energy reader, medium, empath and energy coach Alea Lovely. Alea uses her empathic and intuitive gifts to help people discover and move past their blocks. She also hosts an amazing podcast "Spiritual Sh*t" where she interviews guests and shares her compassion and wisdom. You can learn more about Alea and her services here: https://thelovelyalea.com/bio

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EP 250: Stop Pleasing and Start Speaking Up with Rhonda 0

Jun 24, 2020

This call is about realizing the freedom of being your authentic self and setting boundaries. Today’s caller, Rhonda, is used to putting other people first but she wants deeper, more authentic relationships. She feels stuck in the limiting beliefs and fears of her childhood. We work through her gift of discernment and how she can give her authentic self an outlet. It’s a perfect conversation for what is going on collectively right now.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode250]

To some degree, I think we are people pleasers or at least invested in making sure other people like us a large percentage of the time. But, more and more, we’re living in a world where that simply doesn’t work. It doesn’t work because it stifles our authentic expression and it also doesn’t work because we have too many people pleasers and not enough changemakers. How can we create a better world if we are afraid of upsetting other people?

A great leader cares more about the truth then people's feelings. It’s not a permission slip to be a jerk, however sometimes the truth does hurt, and that’s okay. We have to be willing to receive the truth, allow it to sting a little bit but then go, all right what can I learn. And, we have to be willing to give the truth and be okay if people are upset with us. It’s okay, their upset is their responsibility. Your responsibility is to speak the truth with love. We need people who see injustices and call them out.

If you are feeling stuck, reframe it. You are not stuck. You are waking up. You may be in a bit of uncertainty because you are breaking free of old patterns but you are not stuck!

Are you being called to lead, love, or make a difference? Join me and Stefanos for our Love Amplified retreat in Austin, Sept 24-27. This retreat is all about the love of self, love of others, and love of your higher power. There will be workshops, breathwork, and partner breakouts. Come, share, and grow. Get more information at ChristineHassler.com/retreat.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you a people pleaser? Are you often more concerned with being liked and having people be okay than you are with actually speaking your truth?
Did you grow up in a home where you had to take care of your parents and parent them so they were happy and your own needs weren’t met?
If you are a parent, are you able to be Mama or Papa Bear to your child but often have trouble giving yourself that same fierce love?
Do you have the gift of discernment but you often don’t speak up and use your gift to be able to see the truth? And, are you willing to make the truth more important than the need to be liked?

Rhonda’s Question:

Rhonda feels stuck in people-pleasing mode. She wants deeper relationships where she can truly be seen.

Rhonda’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She doesn’t feel lovable or let people love her.
She is driven to please other people.
She feels tired and wants to regain her energy.
In her childhood, she felt the need to make peace between her parents.
She is waking up from a limiting belief about her worthiness.
She wants to be her authentic self.
She is passionate about her children.
She supported her son through his cancer treatments.
She feels powerful and strong.
She is going through marriage therapy.
She is aware when other people take advantage.
She doesn’t want to hurt people.
She has the gift of discernment.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Let go of the belief that she is stuck.
Connect with her inner child and provide the unconditional love, trust, and validation she is seeking through people-pleasing.
Use her gift of discernment and access the part of herself that is committed to love, life, and connection.
Discover things she is passionate about.
Speak up for her wants and needs with truth and love.
Give her authentic self an outlet.
Speak with her husband about her love for him.

Takeaways:

Speak the truth.
Look at your relationships — where do you need to set boundaries or reinforce them?
Find the fierce warrior inside of you and give support to the little boy or a little girl inside of you.
For help finding your voice, check out my Love Amplified retreat.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

CC: We're In This Together with Mike Robbins 0

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Jun 20, 2020

Christine chats with longtime friend and colleague, Mike Robbins about how to learn, grow, and just be an overall better human. His new book

WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging is incredibly timely. For the past 20 years, he’s been a sought-after speaker and consultant who delivers keynotes and seminars for some of the top organizations in the world.

He and his work have been featured in the New York Times and the Harvard Business Review, as well as on NPR and ABC News. He’s a regular contributor to Forbes, hosts his own podcast (called We’re All in This Together), and his books have been translated into 15 different languages.

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EP 249: Let Go of Guilt for Good with Lynn 0

Jun 17, 2020

This incredibly touching call is about forgiveness and letting go of guilt. Today’s caller, Lynn, feels she was partially responsible for her son’s death and wants to be free of the guilt so she can mourn his passing. Lynn is very brave to be vulnerable and share her story. In this session, we work through a tough topic, especially for mothers. Be prepared.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode249]

When something happens, we can blame ourselves so much that we become the judge and the jury that crucifies us. We can get stuck in a thick soup of guilt.

And, when we have a big trauma, like the passing of someone, we can think that we’re only upset about that event especially when it is something big like losing a child. However, most traumas, massive expectation hangovers, or losses trigger past things that made us feel in similar ways. We can get stuck in a loop that we can’t get out of in terms of the guilt cycle. It’s difficult to process grief when you are stuck in guilt.

Grief is hard and when we add guilt to it, it can feel unsurmountable. When you lose someone, especially a child, I don’t know that the pain ever goes away. However, going through the grief process helps to heal it enough for you to be able to move forward.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you suffer from guilt? Have you done something and you think that you did something terribly wrong and you just can’t forgive yourself, even if it’s years later?
Are you a parent, especially a mother, who thinks no matter what you do you are never doing enough?
Have you had a break up that you never really got over? Specifically a break up where you were left for another person?
Do you know things spiritually but have a hard time accepting them on a human level?

Lynn’s Question:

Lynn has been grieving over her son’s death but hasn’t been able to forgive herself for his suffering.

Lynn’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She feels divided between her emotional and spiritual self.
She is stuck in feelings of grief, guilt, and regret.
She sought help from grief groups and through multiple healing techniques.
Her son was the victim of a violent crime.
She feels she should have done more to help her son.
Her ex-husband left her and their three children for another woman.
She may be keeping her son’s memory alive through her guilt and shame.
She has a limiting belief that she could have done better as a mom.
She wants to be free of the guilt so she can mourn her son.
She doesn’t feel supported in her current marriage.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Do deep forgiveness work and process anger from her past.
Give herself permission to open her heart and to be happy again.
Resist punishing herself.

Takeaways:

If you are feeling guilty about something, do some journaling. Ask yourself, ‘What is this bringing up from my past that I need to forgive myself for?’
Forgive yourself for buying into any judgments you have made against yourself.
Mothers, it’s OK to have boundaries with your children.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

CC: Shift Your Mindset with Topsie Vandenbosch 0

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Jun 13, 2020

Mindset coach and clinical therapist Topsie Vandenbosch joins Christine to talk about how to have a healthier mindset. We talk about getting out of unhealthy situations, getting over imposter syndrome and Topsie works with female entrepreneurs who are str

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EP 248: Be Yourself No Matter What Anybody Else Thinks with Ram 0

Jun 10, 2020

This call is about identifying what is blocking you from stepping into your power. Today’s caller, Ram, has something to say but fears the judgment of others. He is repressing anger about never being seen for who he truly is. How many of us identify with that?

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode248]

When we have stuck emotions we feel stuck in life because it takes a lot of energy to suppress repressed emotions. Repressing our emotions robs us of our creative expression and our creative energy. So, unless we deal with our anger and rage it’s going to leak out in other ways and it’s going to sabotage us.

When men, in particular, don’t deal with their anger and hurt in healthy ways or they don’t step into their power in a healthy way, they try to overpower others. Men who don’t take the more aggressive route generally become passive and neither help us because we need strong men to fight this fight with us. I acknowledge men who are willing to learn to process anger in a healthy way.

Sometimes we give too much power to people who can’t see us and that is what is beautiful about the awakening happening right now. So much is coming up and out in our world as more and more people are speaking their truth. We need awake people and lightworkers in all fields to bring consciousness and love into the world. No one else can give us permission to be ourselves.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you feel like you’re in limbo — like you know what to do and feel called to do it but just can’t seem to make it happen?
Do you feel disconnected from either your masculine or feminine energy?
Are you scared, even terrified, of judgment from others, which keeps you from moving forward?
Do you feel like a fish out of water in your culture, country, or family?

Ram’s Question:

Ram thinks he is in healing limbo. He feels disconnected from his masculine energy and is scared to show his true self to the world.

Ram’s Key Insights and Ahas:

He is sensitive and empathic.
His previous career/identity was frantic and Madmen like.
He is afraid to share his true nature.
He feels disconnected from his culture.
He doesn’t feel he can be his true self.
He becomes deeply invested in his work.
He is tapping into the collective frustration.
He lives vicariously through other people.
He feels the way to survive is to mute himself.
There is anger in his body and it wants attention.
He feels wronged, suppressed, and disempowered.
He is breaking a paradigm.
Managing his anger is taking all his energy.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Work to change external circumstances to shift internally.
Find the anger within and release it to become empowered.
Work with anger in a healthy way.
Go to ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease for my Temper Tantrum technique from Expectation Hangover or join the Personal Mastery course.
Move into self-forgiveness.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

CC: We Are in the Great Awakening. How to Navigate and Understanding Your Role 0

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Jun 6, 2020

In this episode, Christine speaks about how to navigate this challenging time with love. She also shares her insight on how and why this is the "Great Awakening" we have all been preparing for. Christine shares how we can all heal racism and how being anti-racist is truly about being a loving and awakening human being along with action steps you can take. Learn how you can step into your unique role in this changing ecosystem. Receive a prayer you can use to help shift mass consciousness.

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EP 247: I Feel Like a Failure with Alex 0

Jun 3, 2020

This call is about self-compassion and empowerment. Today’s caller, Alex, judges herself for not being where she feels she ‘should’ be in life and for not breaking free from a toxic relationship. She wants guidance on how to move forward but must first work through her unresolved wounding. No one makes significant changes by beating themselves up. True transformation and true change come from love.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode247]

When we judge ourselves as a failure we continue to feel like a failure because adding judgment only creates more self-loathing and it lowers our self-worth. It’s important to know that at any given moment we are doing the best we can at the time.

It’s not an excuse not to do better. It is like Maya Angelou says ‘the first time you didn’t know any better, the second time you know better, so do better.’ We always have the opportunity. There is always another time. The amazing thing about life is that as time keeps going on we are consistently presented with additional opportunities to do better. But, if you look back and only see yourself as a failure you’re not going to have the confidence and self-love you need to actually do better the next time you will just keep repeating the same ‘failure.’

It is important that we feel empowered so we don’t give our power away to others or exert our power over others.

Take a deep dive into how to understand your attachment style and heal your inner child in our three-day virtual Inner Child Workshop on June 5th–7th. Stefanos and I will hold space for both the healthy masculine and feminine. If you can’t join us live, it will be recorded. ChristineHassler.com/Innerchild.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you feel like you’re failing at life and not where you should be?
Do you have an alcoholic or addict parent and maybe did you have another parent that you were close to — maybe even a little too close?
Is it hard for you to break free of toxic relationships or situations even though you know that they are not healthy for you?

Alex’s Question:

Alex is tired of feeling like a victim and would like clarity on how to move forward in her life.

Alex’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She walked away from a toxic relationship but keeps in contact with him.
She is looking for a new job.
She feels like a failure and has hit rock bottom.
Her father is an alcoholic and a workaholic.
Her father didn’t pay much attention to her.
She lost touch with herself at a young age.
She feels alone.
She didn’t find value in therapy.
She is very close to her mother and doesn’t want to disappoint her.
She carries around shame.
She wants to learn to love herself.
She is love-starved.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Research codependence and work to break free of her codependent patterns.
Focus on self-compassion and empowerment.
Remind herself daily that she is enough and she doesn’t need anyone else’s approval.
Believe that she can take care of herself and meet her own needs.
Consider getting a coach or therapist to guide her.
Reparent herself and speak to herself in a more loving way.
Investigate her spiritual life more.

Takeaways:

Join us for the virtual Inner Child Workshop on June 5th–7th. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Innerchild.
Look where you might have codependent patterns. Do some online research or check out Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie.
Make a list of all your perceived failures or mistakes and reframe them. For every single one, I want you to write down at least three things you learn from them to start to see your failures and mistakes from a different perspective.
Do something that fills your cup. Do something that makes you feel safe and nurtured, something that calms that inner child.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

CC: The XX Brain with Dr. Lisa Mosconi 0

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May 30, 2020

Enjoy this information rich episode where Christine speaks with one of the thought-leaders in women's brain health. Learn how you can protect your memory and avoid Alzheimer's disease. Dr. Lisa Mosconi, PhD, is the director of the Women's Brain Initiative and associate director of the Alzheimer's Prevention Clinic at Weill Cornell Medical College, where she serves as an associate professor of neuroscience in neurology and radiology. In addition, she is an adjunct faculty member at the NYU Department of Psychiatry and the author of Brain Food and The XX Brain.

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EP 246: Break Through Intimacy Blocks with Jasmine 0

May 27, 2020

This call is about overcoming a desire for control to feel safe. Today’s caller, Jasmine, is wondering why she has a strange relationship with her boyfriend and her sister and why she sabotages her work experience. What it comes down to is an issue with control and fear of intimacy created to protect herself due to her early experiences with an emotionally unavailable parent.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode246]

During a time when we feel out of control or too controlled we develop a compensatory strategy of ‘I have to be in control of everything to protect myself to avoid intimacy.’

Attachment styles are developed based on our early experiences in relationships. In the avoidant attachment style, we avoid or fear emotional intimacy because usually had a parent who was aloof, emotionally removed, unaffectionate, rejecting, or not attuned to our childhood emotional needs.

Maybe the parent provided food and shelter but children need affection and nurturing as well. When a child doesn’t have emotional availability or affection they can develop an avoidant attachment style. In adulthood, this can show up as being extremely independent and self-directed, controlling, and often uncomfortable with intimacy.

Those with an avoidant attachment style often get the rap of being commitment-phobes but it’s more that they have difficulty with commitment. They either rationalize themselves out of deep intimacy or they have certain complaints when in a relationship.

Grounding ourselves in the present moment and breathwork are great for people who have an avoidant attachment style.

To learn more about compensatory strategies get a free download from my book, Expectation Hangover at ChristineHassler.com/CS.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you have a habit of pushing people away?
Do you give too much advice to certain people?
Do you remember, as a child, having a lot of affection being hugged and feeling safe and nurtured in your home or do you remember feeling kind of alone?
Do you often sabotage an opportunity or relationship professional or personal even if it’s something you really want?

Jasmine’s Question:

Jasmine has a difficult time connecting in her relationships and pulls away before she gets what she wants.

Jasmine’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She is trying to change the role she plays in her sister’s life.
She shrugs off affection when her boyfriend reaches out.
She wants things done a certain way.
She has adopted a protective pattern of control.
She has had very little intimacy in her life.
Her mother was emotionally unavailable.
As a child, she learned that loving other people meant telling them what to do.
Her father wasn’t around.
She doesn’t recognize the progress she has made.
She may have a deep fear of rejection.
She has a body memory of being rejected when giving love.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Research the avoidant attachment style.
Check-in with herself, with love, to see how she is doing.
Be more compassionate with herself.
Release self-judgment and add unconditional love.
Ground herself in the present because intimacy happens in the present moment.
Adopt the mantra of ‘I am safe. That was then. This is now.’ and ‘It is safe to let love in.’

Takeaways:

Join us for the virtual Inner Child Workshop on June 5th–7th. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Innerchild.
To learn more about compensatory strategies get a free download from my book, Expectation Hangover at ChristineHassler.com/CS.
Be patient with yourself and your growth.
Practice by naming your feelings and saying to yourself ‘I am safe. That was then. This is now.’
Listen to my Coaches Corner episode #217 on attachment styles.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

 CC: Inquire within with IN-Q 0

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May 23, 2020

You are in for a treat a very talented and inspirational guest joins Christine on the podcast. IN-Q is a National Poetry Slam champion, award-winning poet, and multi-platinum songwriter. He is on Oprah's SuperSoul 100 list of the world's most influential thought leaders. He inspires audiences around the world through his live performances and storytelling workshops. 
IN-Q brings his words to paper in his heartfelt and entertaining debut book Inquire Within. His poetry contemplates themes of love, life, presence, forgiveness, and social issues including climate change, gun violence, racism and more.

After hearing IN-Q and reading his poetry, you’ll never look at poetry the same way again.

Learn more and grab a copy here: https://in-q.com/

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EP 245: Stop Trying to Prove Yourself with Britney 0

May 20, 2020

This is a call about knowing that you matter without constantly proving yourself. Today’s caller, Britney, is putting a lot of pressure on herself. She wants guidance on building her career but until she heals her inner child she will keep running into roadblocks. If you are career-driven you may relate to this.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode245]

What we all need the most is for someone to really see us and understand us.

If we are addicted to anything, be it success or alcohol, it is an attempt to cure pain or heal a wound. Any addiction is an attempt to numb something. We can be addicted to success or making something out of ourselves but that is not the purpose of our life. The purpose of the human experience is to come to the awareness that we are whole, complete, and loved no matter what we do. And, we are someone no matter what we do. We are one with everyone. That is why we are here.

When we do inner child work and we do the work of the spirit we realize there is nothing external that solves our internal tasks. There is nothing external that completes us. Inner child work can lead us to more aligned and greater success because we’re not hitting as many roadblocks.

I don’t want you to think that accepting ourselves and loving ourselves makes us complacent. Accepting and loving ourselves provides us with inspiration and success because it comes from a more aligned place.

Tap into your inner knowing and intuition with this gift from me. It offers help with intuitive decision making and how to navigate the unknown with 6 Steps to Bypass Your Practical Mind. Text ‘Christine’ to 444999.

Take a deep dive into how to heal your inner child in our 3-day virtual Inner Child workshop on June 5th-7th. Stefanos and I will hold space for both the healthy masculine and feminine. If you can’t join us live it will be recorded. Take advantage of the early bird discount if you sign up by May 25th at ChristineHassler.com/Innerchild.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you feel like you are not living into your purpose or potential or like you should be doing more?
Did you have parents that were very success-oriented and expected a lot from you?
As a child, did you have a passion for something artistic or outside of the conventional box or what your parents maybe wanted you to do but you were discouraged from pursuing it because you were told you could never make money at it?
Do you feel blocked in the area of your life and it seems like no matter what you do you just can’t shift it?

Britney’s Question:

Britney would like to know more about stepping into her purpose.

Britney’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She disassociates and has self-worth issues.
She feels she is a strong hustler but is tired of it.
She is having trouble taking her career to the next level.
She feels she is not where she is supposed to be.
She pushes away love because she feels she doesn’t deserve it.
She was told she wouldn’t succeed in the arts.
She craved support and validation from her parents.
She feels like she doesn’t matter and has to prove herself.
Her parents believe the way out of suffering is money and success.
She is breaking a generational pattern.
She wants to play more.
She consistently looks for something external to heal internally.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Learn to release the expectations she puts on herself.
Perform the Empty Chair Process.
Look inside herself and not to external sources for healing.

Takeaways:

Join us for the virtual Inner Child Workshop on June 5th–7th. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Innerchild and get a $100 early bird discount if you register before May 25th.
Write a letter to that little boy or little girl inside of you about how worthy they are, what you love about them, and start validating yourself, not for what you do but for who you are.
If you are carrying anger or resentment write a couple a few letters that you never mail.
Stop hustling and do the internal work. Tap more into your intuition and inner child.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.